Written by | Posted November 19, 2013 – 4:46 pm Deconstruction

Bad things are happening in Stormwind – and beyond.

The Hand of Lothar, they call themselves.

Yva Darrows was their first target.

Tirith and Aely were their second and third.

They have since… expanded their reach and escalated their methods …

filed under Other stuff, Silly
The Many Varieties of DPS
comment 1 Written by on November 7, 2011 – 8:28 am

Before you read this one, go check out the first in this series – The Differing Species of Tanks and the second – the Differing Species of Healers.

  • Quiet DPS: Thinks he’s the best <class> ever, but never really says much. Just shows up and does his job. Probably tops the meters without anyone noticing until the logs are posted.
  • Noisy DPS: Thinks she’s the best <class> ever, and Just. Will. Not. Shut. Up. Constantly chattering in vent, possibly even to the point of missing instructions or talking over the raid leader.
  • Hax DPS: Thinks he’s the best <class> ever, and knows his class mechanics better than the developers. Manages to pull stunts that make other raid members blink in confusion. Occasionally wipes the raid trying to pull these off, but when he’s successful, it’s AMAZING.
  • Excuses DPS: Thinks she’s the best <class> ever, except for that night, and that other night, and that time with all the lag, and the day her video card started fritzing, and the other evening when it was raining, and …
  • Patient DPS: Thinks she’s the best <class> ever, and manages to get every other player of her class in the raid to perform consistently better, week by week.
  • Prepared DPS: Thinks he’s the best <class> ever, brings enough flasks, food, and other consumables to make sure everyone else is the best ever too.
  • QQ DPS: Thinks she’s the best <class> ever, but thinks Blizzard has it out for her class and made it so that bunnies/swords/cats/tinfoil doesn’t work on that fight. Complains loudly and repeatedly of being gimped by the developers, regardless of where other players of her class/spec fall on the meters.
  • Stands-in-it DPS: Thinks he’s the best <class> ever, and might actually prove that he is, if he could only figure out how to not stand in the fire.
  • Chuck Norris DPS: Thinks he’s the best <class> ever, and actually pulls it off.

(And yes, this is FIRMLY tongue in cheek. Especially since I now play DPS!)

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One Response to “The Many Varieties of DPS”

  1. Then there’s the emo dps. Thinks she’s the worst ever, constantly apologizes for minor mistakes when she was actually the last one standing, tops the meters but thinks that recount is somehow bugged not adequately recording the damage, is always trying to bow out of the raid in favor of someone less-geared and less talented “because he needs the experience and gear more than me”.

    Not that I know anyone like that…

    By Nina on Nov 7, 2011 | Reply

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