So I received the following email (sadly, longer ago than I care to admit) – and while I responded to it at the time, I wanted to expand on that response and turn it into a blog post – both because I felt like this should be addressed publically and because I think some of you might have good, creative, constructive replies as well.
Stumbled across your blog on wow ladies, always nice to see another RPer who raids.
In any case, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on a problem I’ve been running into for a bit…and one that has mostly killed my desire to RP.
Namely, being flamed, pseudo ICly insulted, or generally followed around and insulted for raiding. I’ve had several people from some of the larger RP guilds on my server do this, and I’m still uncertain about any viable IC ways to respond. It appears to be a jealousy issue, especially since I’ve heard comments from several of these people about how they need to start raiding so they have more epics.
But, I’m still rather lost on how to deal with the situation.
This is apparently something of an ongoing problem, because this character (I’m making no assumptions male or female, because we know how well THAT goes) has asked me not to use their character name in order to not draw more griefing.
First, let me applaud you for working on RP and raiding together. It’s tough – especially due to the climate you talk about – where people on one front seem to think it’s OK to deride or degrade people on the other, no matter how immature that reaction is. Assuming that you’re not going around flaunting your epics (OMG GUYS LOOK AT MY NEW HAT! I’M SO LEET!), they have no right to give you heat for raiding. On the same token, your raid mates have no right to give you heat for RPing unless you’re using RP as an excuse to suck – which I’m pretty sure you’re not, but since this is a blog post, I have to be all politically correct you know.
Always remember that – regardless of whether these folks are (so-called) good RPers – if they harass you, you should follow the ToS procedure for griefing. Ask them to stop – take screenshots of what they say and of you asking them to stop – and if they don’t, you should put them on /ignore (even if it’s just temporarily) and report them to a GM. Harassment is harassment, no matter who is doing it, and I have some issue with their credibility if they can’t understand someone raiding and RPing. Regardless of the source, this part of the situation needs to stop, and who knows – a simple “I raid and I roleplay, and there’s nothing that says I can’t do both. Please leave me alone” might solve the problem.
In keeping with the idea that nobody should deal with griefing, don’t hide your gear to get away from it. Face this one head on if you can. Obviously, if you want to hang out in a tavern in tavern clothes, go right ahead. But your gear is an accomplishment, just like your stories and in character interactions are accomplishments. Just because they don’t give epics for storylines doesn’t mean that the epics you get for completing raid content are something you should be at all afraid of. Someone else’s asshat behavior should not be grounds for you to be ashamed of your accomplishments (Thanks Linedan).
One thing that does strike me as odd about these folks who are hassling you is that they seem to be… well… behind the times a bit.
Raiding is no longer the bastion of 20+ hour a week commitments in guilds that throw you out if you’re late because you got in a car accident. Random groups – that aren’t guild affiliated – can spring up and clear out Naxxramas on a very do-able schedule. I raid three nights a week right now (2 nights for 25′s, 1 night for 10′s), and we’re working on Mimiron in both my 10 and 25 man raids. That leaves FOUR WHOLE NIGHTS that I can devote to RP if I want – or whatever else I might want.
Have people from your raid, in the past, been openly hostile to roleplayers?
It does happen, and if you wear their guild tag, it’s going to make “breaking in” to the RP community difficult, as they’ll view you with some suspicion. This might be a long-ago event, or something that happened well before you started raiding with them, but it’s probably worth at least a quick question to a friendly raid officer. Roleplayers tend to be rather sensitive about the griefing issue, because it does happen frequently, so they can have long memories for stuff like that. Once bitten, twice shy, as it were.
The other thing you want to make sure is that your RP style is one that “plays well with others”, so to speak, so that this particular group isn’t targeting you for raiding because of your RP style. If your RP is self-centered, involves your always being the center of attention and a character who is so amazingly beautiful and perfect that she has no flaws but is still emo and sad and dejected all the time with moments of unbridled rage, a cat tail, a mechanical arm, angel wings, and vampire fangs – the other RP folks might be choosing to just “label” you as a clueless raider (as mistaken as that label might be) in order to justify not helping you work on your RP. Also, if you’re using your raid-earned epics as a way to roleplay an undefeatably powerful character, that can be somewhat offputting as well.
I’m not saying that this is or is not the case – I know absolutely nothing about your characters or even what server you play on, but make sure that there’s not something weird going on like this.
As much as I harp on just “jumping in” to RP – there are definitely ways to put people off RPing with you. Hopefully that’s not what’s going on right now.
Hopefully that puts the situation in perspective a little. Regardless of what’s going on, you need to address the griefing. And, if you can’t figure out what might be /drawing/ that griefing (other than your apparently noticable gear), just move on. Sadly, some people find that being jerks to other people makes them feel validated in their own choices not to do something. If these folks have some kind of insecurity about their gear, they might be taking it out on you as a way to “belittle” what raiders do and make themselves feel better. Not a very mature reaction, but it happens.
So don’t let it get to you – but don’t overlook that there might be other factors going on here! Good luck, happy RPing, and may the Loot-Fu be with you!
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