Awhile ago, I published part 1 in this series, a very well thought out and extremely serious post on Tanks and the various types of tanks you might find in WoW.
… Ok, “serious” might be a stretch… >.>
Anyway, here’s part two. The different types of healers that you might find in WoW. Once again, I’m not talking about classes at all…
- Quiet Healer – shows up, does his job, doesn’t say much, and manages to not be around very much outside of raids. You probably don’t know a whole lot about this guy’s personal life, and you think he might have alts on other servers or in other guilds, but you’re not sure. Still, he’s dependable and does his job reasonably well, so nobody really asks.
- Angry Healer – The opposite of “blame the healer” this is the vocal healer that always has a word for other people that screw things up. Particularly if they screw things up in a way that makes them a) unsaveable or b) wipe the raid. Generally tolerated as long as she has solid performance, and can be combined with just about any other healer type (except possibly the Quiet Healer). If the Angry Healer is angry about things that can be fixed, and remains mostly constructive, she’s not a bad group member. Otherwise? She’s just /angry/.
- Burned-out Healer – Has been doing this WAY too long, and is just tired of putting up with the shit that goes with healing. May also be tired of raiding in general, but may find relief in being allowed to pick up a DPS spec occasionally. Probably either very quiet or very chattery, but only about non-raid-related things. May turn into the Angry Healer or the AFK Healer easily. Burned-out Healers can be created out of Bored Healers, but also can be created out of stressed out Healers, if the raid is constantly pushing the healing team to the very edge of sanity.
- AFK Healer – Lights are on, nobody’s home. Possibly not at the keyboard, possibly just pretending not to be there. Subsets of the AFK Healer are the Disconnected Healer, the Distracted Healer, and the Alt-Tabbed Healer. Frequently a stress-relieving mechanism for Angry and Burned Out Healers, this situation does sometimes occur with the Theoretical Healer, especially if strategy is being discussed.
- Professional Healer – Has three alts that all are healers, all of whom are at or close to level cap, and all of whom have seen raid or instance experience as healing. Possibly carries two healing specs on some of those characters. If she wants to bring a non healer alt to a pick up raid, nobody can remember who she is. Leaders who don’t pay attention may assume her presence means healing, even if she’s playing a hunter today. Knows enough about all the various healing classes to be really helpful, unless she’s also the Angry Healer, in which case she can be kind of volatile if someone else screws up.
- Lost Healer – Knows the ins and outs of every boss fight in the game but can’t seem to find her way out of the instance. This type of healer is very prevalent due to Green Bar Hypnosis.
- Theoretical Healer – Knows every healing trick in the book, and is intimately familiar with any new theorycrafting that might be done for his class. May also be part of the group that DOES the advanced math theorycrafting for his class. Constantly poring over logs to optimize performance. During difficult boss fights, will mention offhandedly (as though everyone already knew) some secret little trick that makes the healing part of the fight incredibly trivial. Can also be somewhat pedantic, depending on the personality, but usually an incredibly valuable member of the healing team.
- Bored Healer – Overgears it, knows all the fights, has been here, done this, and is really over the whole experience of raiding. Bored Healers can quickly turn into Burned-out Healers, depending on raid morale. Or they just start to sneak in DPS when they don’t think anyone is looking.
- Reluctant Healer – Not usually a healer, the Reluctant Healer has been asked to respec or bring an alt so the raid can get off the ground. May turn into the Angry Healer if she really doesn’t want to be doing this – particularly if she’s asked to heal/bring the healing alt for weeks on end when her main is really a Rogue.
- Flail Healer – Whether from an excitable personality or an overabundance of caffeine, he’s wound like a spring and /everyone knows it/. May be either excitably happy and flailing, or nervously twitchy and flailing. Probably talks too much, and may be new to healing. The Flail Healer can usually be found running around mashing buttons – possibly not even the right buttons. Particularly wound up but Bored Healers often become Flail Healers. While not always effective, he’s always exciting to be around…
- Not-A-Healer – This is a non-healing hybrid, a ret pally or an elemental shaman perhaps, who – when the shit hits the fan – drops the pew pew and bails out the raid with a couple of well timed heals. Though not effective for long periods of time, in a tight spot your Not-Healers can pinch hit well enough to either get the Priest a battle rez or tick off the last 2% on the boss.
- All-Star Healer – You’re not sure what this guy ate for breakfast, where he got his gear, or how he managed to get Chuck Norris to autograph his shield/mace/favorite tree branch, but this is the healer that can heal anything. Tank healing? Sure. Raid healing? You got it. The last healer alive on a bad boss pull with 12% health and no mana and somehow she pulls it off and you win… yeah. You’d love to hate her, but she’s just That Good. Class is irrelevant. Spec is irrelevant. This guy can heal it, and not even break a sweat.
Of course, through all of this, there is one last kind of healer. The saddest kind, and the kind that we (particularly as heal-leads and raid officers) never want to see.
The Former Healer
All joking aside, though, healing isn’t always easy. Like tanking, it requires a specific sort of situational awareness, a lot of mental attention, and occasionally a shot of something stiff to keep you willing to put up with the crap. I can see myself in most of the healers on this list, and I’m sure we’ve all had our days as the Angry Healer (and I am well known for being the Lost Healer, especially in a new instance).
Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments! (DPS post is in the works as well, but I make no promises on a delivery date.)
PS: If you’re bored and looking for things to read today during the Extended Special 24 Hour Maintenance, check out WTT:RP’s post on things to do during server downtime and Matojo’s post on Being Different.