Written by | Posted November 13, 2014 – 12:30 pm A Girl and her Dog

The morning of the all hands summon to the Blasted Lands, Aely went for a walk. The late fall air was clear and cool, and leaves crunched under their feet in the less-traveled parts of the streets. She and Roger took the long way around Old Town, south through Tanner Circle and down Bulwarks, across […]

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Tuesday Thoughts
comment 7 Written by on May 22, 2012 – 10:05 am

A few unrelated things on my mind this morning, from various things this week:

Congrats to Shaila and Chelody! It’s been awhile since I’ve been to an RP wedding, and Sunday night was a blast (even if I did almost show up late. Oops). You guts did a beautiful job, and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the place. Except maybe Tarquin, but we all know he doesn’t count. Aely wishes she could’ve stayed longer at the reception, but she was glad to at least make a toast and have a shot (or 5) in your honor. *hic*

Leveling Ancelyn : after reading Cynwise’s post about leveling in Mists, I’m holding off on pushing Ancelyn any further. Warlock changes sound exciting, and I’d prefer to get Annata out of Outlands anyway, before I start it with another character. Hopefully Annata will be able to dig into Northrend, since there’s a good bit going on there. I’m still kind of dreading having to do the Cataclysm content again though.

Diablo 3 Impressions: I’m not sure Diablo 3 is groundbreaking and new, but dang it’s fun. I’ve got my little demon hunter to level 9ish (only had one night to play so far), and it’s been good, old fashioned demon smashing fun! SSH is playing a barbarian, and the combination is quite … destructive. I’m a big fan of the BattleTag system too.

Limited Play Time: sucks. But there’s not much I can do about it, if I want to still have a clean house and keep my job. I’m struggling to find time to play, so my new plan includes cooking multiple things on weekends and then eating them throughout the week, hopefully to give me more time to do things in game. It means I spend my entire Sunday cooking though. We’ll see how this plan works out. I MISS gaming though, so I figure there’s got to be a way to work it out so I can still game, work, and keep up with the house! At least, I hope there is. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be raiding anymore though – that kind of consistent evening time just isn’t possible, and I’m a little sad to leave that behind for good. Especially since my Cata raid disintegrated before we could kill Deathwing. Hopefully the decrease in raiding can equal an increase in RP though.

RP Advice Needed: I’m struggling with how to approach playing Aely now that Arrens is well and truly “gone”. While I’d love for him to come back to WoW, he’s done with the game and his work schedule would prohibit gaming even if he wasn’t. Going forward, I don’t want to put aside the things they did and wrote together, and Arrens and I are still friends outside of the game, but it’s tough to RP Aely since they were so often together and doing things with/based on the other’s RP. So I need you guys’ advice on some ways I can make this work without putting Aely through a breakup. I have no desire to do that, at this point, but I’d love to hear other options for dealing with a long term/permanent absence.

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7 Responses to “Tuesday Thoughts”

  1. I’ve seen the last situation quite a bit over my time in WoW and everyone seems to handle it differently. There are the people who do “cut the cord” so to speak and break up the IC relationship, but I think there are other ways to handle it.

    Since you’re continuing to communicate out of game, this might be a great time to mention that you’re continuing to RP Aely and would like to know how he would like things to be handled as far as the relationship. There is the option of keeping him as an off-stage character who is mentioned but never appears, and treat the relationship as much the same as possible. I see that happen alot, particularly with people who have left the game OR who have switched characters.

    If he’s really committed on never coming back, there’s also the option of “gifting” the character to you (in spirit, not the actual avatar!), so you can continue to incorporate him into your character’s roleplay as much as you like – via stories, etc. My character’s father was “abandoned” and I got the character gifted to me so I can use him in stories, etc as I choose.

  2. @Fivequarters: that’s all really good advice. I’ll have a chat with Arrens and see what his take on the situation is. I’m not sure if I could really truly “take over” as Arrens, but there could be some way to work it out beyond just pretending he’s always working late (which, from a relationship standpoint is both not fun to RP, and makes him look like a jerk).

  3. I think my experience with real-life deployments might be useful to you. My husband has spent fully half of our 11-year marriage overseas, for at least a year at a stretch each time (We’re done with that life now, thank goodness).

    Being married but separate is tough, but not impossible. Life goes on whether or not you adjust, so it’s important not to put yourself on hold. If you have hobbies and social routines already in place, keep doing them on your own; if you don’t already have activities separate from your spouse, get some. Think of something you would like to try. Dance or crafting classes, social clubs, gardening, dinner parties, games, sports, volunteering for a favorite cause–whatever floats your boat. If at first you don’t succeed, try something new. Keep going until you feel relatively happy on your own and with the way you spend your time–but don’t forget to keep your long-distance routines going as well.

    If you can call each other, schedule times to do so if the situation allows. Schedules give you something to look forward to over the lonely days and weeks. If calls aren’t possible, write notes or letters and send them as regularly as suits you both. Send packages periodically; end every communication with an “I love you,” a scrawled heart, a happy photo. When you’re apart, every exchange is a date. Treating it as such makes the time apart a little more bearable.

    Separation is a very personal thing. To the people in your life, you’re not person-without-spouse. You’re just you. It helps to remember that. It helps more if you really believe it.

    I think the success of a long-distance relationship depends partly on whether you continue to participate in the world, or simply exist while it moves around you. There’s a lot of happiness out there for the taking, even if your loved one(s) can’t be there to give it (or enjoy it with you). Go out, live your life; enjoy it, learn from it, and you’ll have lots of stories to tell when you’re reunited.

    Now, that doesn’t address the issues you might have with Arrens/Aely RP, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to anything in life, but I hope it gives you a little help steering. Good luck! <3

  4. @Bika: that is awesome advice for anyone, regardless of RP. And honestly, now that I’ve talked with Arrens (hi Steve!) I think I’ll end up taking that tack over trying to break it up and risking that kind of character fallout. In the past, I’ve had to help Aely move on, but it was never from anything so serious and so life-altering as her relationship with Arrens. She’s Aely Caltrains now, and it’d take some pretty heavy stuff to change that. And I don’t want to change it, so I’m going to need to find a way to RP around it.

    And hopefully find some better reasons he’s never around than just “work”.

    (And just do nobody is confused, this is ONLY about Aely/Arrens, not about Anna/SSH :) )

  5. I know one person specifically who I RP with whose in-character partner doesn’t play much/if at all anymore and they have it worked it out together as well as possible. Communication ftw!

  6. I don’t think I can really give advice on how you two should handle the Aely/Arrens situation, but if you do want to kind of RP it away with some level of wiggle room if Arrens ever decides to play again, I think I have an idea.

    Have you read Unbroken, by Micky Neilson? It’s the short story on the WoW site that discusses how Nobundo turned from a Draenei Vindicator into a Broken Farseer. You can find the story at http://us.battle.net/wow/en/game/lore/short-story/unbroken/1 (or from the WoW homepage go to Game Guide -> Expanded Universe -> Short Stories -> Unbroken) but the part I’m zoning in on specifically is on page 2, where the Orcs used some sort of red mist to strip the Shattrath Vindicators of their ability to communicate with the Holy Light and, in later pages, eventually turned the survivors into Broken. Considering how the Orcs at the time were freshly bloodlusted from having drank Mannoroth’s burning blood, it’s highly likely that the red mist was of fel origin.

    Given the Aely/Arrens dynamic, this connection between the Holy Light and fel magic should be familiar. If, for whatever reason, Aely has been feeling her connection to the Light diminishing, and the nights Arrens has been working late have not already been explained with other reasons, one possible idea is that perhaps Arrens was researching the red mist incident to try to effectively find an antithesis to it: a spell that strengthens one’s connection to the Holy Light. Things could go wrong, and Arrens might have found something that has an opposite effect in a totally different way: one that cuts people off from demonic magic. And by “people” I’m referring to one Mr. Arrens ‘Well That Was an Unfortunate Lab Accident’ Caltrains. <.<

    Essentially, what this would mean is that Arrens now has an excuse to disappear from the public eye for as long as necessary. Maybe he's suffering fel magic withdrawals, or maybe he's just going about his life as a regular guy now that he's pretty much cut off from magic, or both in sequence, or a variety of other plausible scenarios. Plus, such an event would bring up a host of complicated emotions for both Arrens and Aely which can be mined for fic material, if either and/or both of you are interested in writing about it. Not to mention that it could potentially include a hook for enmeshing Ancelyn into the storyline if that's something you're interested in. ("Oh no, without fel magic Arrens' demons are running amok! Here comes Ancelyn to save the day!")

    As a complete and total aside: MINUS 50 DKP to anyone who failed to read the previous sentence to the tune of http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=GYpBoYa4pno#t=45s

    *Ahem* Anyway, it might be a somewhat threadbare/overused plot device, but using a lab accident for the reverse of a Hulk/Spiderman creation scenario on Arrens could explain away a lot of the loose ends. Arrens isn't quite a jerk for working late all the time if he's working late for Aely's sake, and he's still available as an invisible NPC when needed for story reasons. Plus, if Arrens ever comes back to WoW, it can all be explained away with a quick "He found a cure!" or "He got better!" or "A wizard did it!" Plus, it also opens up the options of rebuilding Arrens as a non-Warlock if that ever becomes desirable ("He could no longer use magic so he grabbed a leather jacket and a couple of daggers and started with the stabby stabby").

    And if none of that works? Maybe Arrens did something unfathomably stupid and Aely punched him into a coma. <.<

  7. @Gryph – I’m very familiar with Unbroken – it’s a huge part of Annorah’s backstory (and part of why she’s such a Nobundo fangirl, she was evacuated out of Shattrath into Zangarmarsh with the rest of the survivors).

    As for turning that into something for Arrens, I think it’s a really plausible idea and has a lot of potential. I’m a little daunted by the idea of writing it alone (aka: without Arrens), but I really think it has some teeth. It’d give me a story to be working on, and gives Arrens something to be doing instead of just “working”. It’s a talking point for me to use when people ask where he is (which still happens).

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