Written by | Posted September 8, 2015 – 9:51 pm Descent and Ascent

It didn’t take long to get from Thunder Bluff to the Echo Isles – Ankona took advantage of a wyvern so she could think and plan before getting to her destination. She had information to confirm with the spirits – was Gromnor dead? Was he really in the northern part of the Eastern Kingdoms, somewhere […]

filed under Feature, Raiding, Silly
Raider Detention
comment 32 Written by on April 28, 2010 – 1:01 pm


We’ve all done it.  The more you raid, the more likely you’ll have an oops and cause a hilarious wipe. My most recent Pally!Fail was an attempt to put Hand of Sacrifice on our Tank in phase 3 of Putricide… and hitting DI instead.

What if, upon being the source of Epic Fail, we were then required to (a la elementary school detention) write out our failures on the chalkboard a certain number of times?

  • I will not DI the tank.
  • I will not death grip the boss.
  • I will not stand in the raid and get them all iceblocked.
  • I will not stand in the Yeti.
  • I will not move when Flame Wreath is cast.
  • I will not tank in my Frost Resist gear.
  • I will not tank in Blood Presence.
  • I will not do an entire progression raid in my RP hat. (or my Chef hat)
  • I will not misdirect the kitty druid.
  • I will not tricks the fury warrior on the pull.
  • I will not throw the Tainted Core to the person kiting Striders.
  • I will not use Cleanse on Grobbulus.
  • I will not facepull with half the raid outside.
  • I will not die on the elevator boss.

What would YOU be writing?


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32 Responses to “Raider Detention”

  1. I will not let the Blood Queen mind control me and start taking out the healers with my pewpew of feathery death.


  2. “i wont cast tranquility instead of hurricane” (hey, those buttons look a lot alike!)
    “i will remember to put my healing gear back on after fishing”

  3. I will not earthshield Valythria Dreamwalker.

    By Boudieka on Apr 28, 2010 | Reply
  4. I’ve never wiped a raid with these but they’re still bad:

    I will apply poisons before a boss fight whether I need to or not.
    I will not stand in the cleave/whirlwind.
    I will gem/enchant my helm before coming to a raid, regardless of how recently I got it or how rarely I raid.

    And the one that did wipe:

    I will not back out of the hockey puck only to be ice blocked next to the healer. (only did that once btw XD)

  5. I will not follow stealthed rogues in raids.
    I am not a melee priest.
    I will not holy fire instead of heal if failDPS bites me

  6. -I will not tank Tidewalker in my kitty gear.
    -I will not shift out to battle rez someone and forget to return to bear form, causing the boss to Eat My Face (I was OT and the other BRs were down)
    -I will not allow my cat (actual, RL cat) to pull the boss (this was a hunter guildy)
    -I will not be unware that I am “the bomb”

    By Fallah on Apr 28, 2010 | Reply
  7. I will not annoy the raid by feigning through a wipe.
    I will not forget to turn Growl off.
    I will not Disengage off the platform when fighting the Lich King.

  8. I will not heal in my Shadow gear. (At least, not past Saurfang.)

  9. I will not heal the entire Lurker fight with Seth’s Graphite Fishing Pole Equipped.
    I will not heal the entire Lurker fight Naked after hitting the wrong outfitter hotkey.

  10. I will not accidentally ask King Wrynn to remove the raid’s ICC buff.
    I will click off the DI buff before the boss respawns.
    I will not try to tank a Valkyr without an Essence buff.

    By Mannath on Apr 28, 2010 | Reply
  11. I will not put my totems down in aggro range before a boss respawns after a wipe.
    I will always turn off auto run when approaching an area of hostile mobs.

  12. I will not go inside the doorway leading to Kologarn >.>

    I will remember to put my helm back on when I have been fishing before a raid

    I will remember to take my pet off aggresive when I have been leather-farming before a raid (Only happened once, I swear!)

  13. I will not run towards the orange ooze like it’s my long-lost best friend.

    I will not stand in Archimonde’s fire.

    I will not mistake my LoH key for my priest’s Levitate key and so die on the way to Lurker’s platform while the mage I had targeted is wondering why I just dropped the world’s biggest heal on him.

  14. I can’t honestly recall ever dumb-killing my raid…

    Intentionally, on the other hand…


  15. I will not forget to put on my FR gear before pulling Ragnaros.

  16. I will not send my pet (with dash) in before the tank engages
    I will not run an entire instance wearing my Chef’s hat
    I will not speak with Akama
    I will not speak with the dwarf on the gunship, because he doesn’t hand out the rocket packs
    I will remember to switch back my MD target after the Saurfang fight from the stooge healer to an actual tank

    By Belphzooka on Apr 28, 2010 | Reply
  17. Speaking for our druid healer:

    “I will not battle rez in the middle of deep breath.”

    And for myself:

    I will not Consecrate the Blood Beasts.
    I will not DPS with my tank set.
    I will not ask Jaeren to announce us all in ToC5.
    I will not pull bosses with my BB Gun.
    I will not alt-tab to harvest crops when someone’s pulling a boss.
    I will continue to make Egbert sparkle so people try to loot him without thinking.

  18. I will remember to swap back to frost presence for Rotface after going blood on Festergut.to keep my threat low.

  19. I will always pull bosses with Eyes of Kilrogg.

    By Tif on Apr 29, 2010 | Reply
  20. Tchann got mine with disengage, though it’s never happened to me in a raid, it got me in Nexus. I don’t get to raid on my hunter 😛

    For my GM and his resto shaman,
    “I will not drop cleansing totems on Grobbulus”

    For my hubby,
    “I will learn the difference between Egbert and the Gnome Warrior tank, and not follow the former into battle when the raid is still recovering from a wipe.”

    And for myself…
    “I will make sure I know where Freya is when we are clearing her trash.”

    By Carrie on Apr 29, 2010 | Reply
  21. Not speaking for myself: (Also all of these except the first one happened within the last week)
    I will not run the wrong way on Thaddius because I now have sticky notes on my monitor telling me which way is left and right, and which way is clockwise. (not kidding, this was my roommate. They’re still on her monitor)
    I will remember the bite order on Blood Queen – and remember that I have to keep biting people (another sticky-note, this time for the kitty-druid)
    I will not tricks the warlock (happens about half the time; thankfully he’s my Vigilance target, so he doesn’t -always- die)
    I will not Cleanse on Rotgut (ADD healer got distracted)

    And for me:
    I will not Thunderclap immediately when Blood Beasts spawn.

    By Karith on Apr 29, 2010 | Reply
  22. I will not follow stealthed rogues in the raid.
    I will remember to turn Righteous Futy back on before kiting slimes
    I will remember not to follow Keltyr in the raid, while he is talking on vent. (Or trust him in any fashion if he says “Let’s try this”)

  23. -I will remember to go into stealth before attempting to sneak up on trash mobs. (I think this one just got me killed, but still.)

    -I will not break stealth on my way to sapping a mob by accidentally pressing “Shoot Gun.” (That one DID wipe us.)

    -I will wait until the tank has moved Onyxia all the way to the back of the room before engaging in melee, lest I be met with a faceful of dragon tail and a short flight followed by MANY WHELPS HANDLE IT.

    -I will remember to cast Tricks of the Trade on the whelp-tank before I go wild with Fan of Knives during Onyxia Phase Two (or any other similar AOE fight).

    -I will remember to switch out of Aspect of the Pack before the boss fight.

    By Corise on Apr 29, 2010 | Reply
  24. @Corise – I had an old raid leader that used to call Aspect of the Pack “Aspect of the Run Fast”. After a very fateful and ill attempted trash pull after Vaelestrasz, it was titled “Aspect of the Stun Fast” instead.

  25. @Itanya – “I will not ever follow Tarquin. Ever.”

  26. For my GM, : “I will not place the fish feast by the orb in Maly’s room.” I’m not sure he’s ever lived that one down!

    For faction transfers, “I will not run to the south part of the room for faction champs … I am Horde no-longer.”

    For my tanky husband, “I will always check for frost presence when I’m supposed to be tanking.”

    For my warlock, “I will remember that my curses are instant and while the tank is on his way, he’s not there YET.”

    For my shaman RL, “I will not call down faction champs when the raid is sitting by the door on break.” Oops!

    By Niyahti on Apr 29, 2010 | Reply
  27. Last night-
    (didn’t wipe tho, our MT is so awesome)

  28. I will not run into aggro range because I am falling asleep at my computer (it was a long day, don’t ask)

    I will not tab-target the next trash pack before we are done killing the current one. (on my hunter. That, uh, may have happened more than once)

    I will not Howling Blast the moment the blood beasts spawn

    I will keep track of where Freya is while I am herbing before the pull ( >.>)

    If I HAVE to shoot the rat/spider/random critter crawling next to the boss, I will put my pet on passive first.

    When I’m tanking, I will remember to make sure I’m in frost presence before pulling.

    I will not tank in my dps gear, nor dps in my tank gear

    I will not tank in my dps spec, nor dps in my tank spec

    @ Kel- “I will remember to take my pet off aggressive when I have been leather-farming before a raid” Uh, yea, me too >.>

  29. @Anna – That’s what we still call Aspect of the Pack…well, when we aren’t berating Beerbane for having Aspect of the Fail up.

  30. @Anna: We call Aspect of the Pack “Aspect of the Daze”

    Thought of another one, for my RL:
    I will not deviate from strict ICC boss kill order. (We wiped on Rotface for the first time in WEEKS because we didn’t do Festergut first – or as I like to call them, Festerface and Rotgut.)

    By Karith on Apr 30, 2010 | Reply
  31. I will not forget to turn the mob away from the raid.
    I will remember when I’m not supposed to be tanking.
    I will not try to put diseases on Lady Deathwhisper when I’m supposed to be tanking trash mobs with less than 10 seconds left on the respawn timer.
    I will not fall off the platform in forge of souls when I’m healing.
    Or tanking.
    Pyroblast has a five second cast, which works great while the tank gets aggro, unless Hot Streak procs, and then it doesn’t.
    Reading blogs/spamming the guild forums/checking email are to be done after the raid is over, not when my fellow tank is pulling something.

    By Kyraine on May 1, 2010 | Reply
  32. “I will not clean my keyboard during raid.” (“OH GOD! What did I just do?” “Teu, did you just pop Heroism and then hearth?” “…yes. yes, I did.”)

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